I had the pleasure of great conversation with a great friend today. He is on the cusp of making a life-changing decision. He’s about to make the leap into a healthier life in fitness, business, and relationships by pursuing opportunities of his own creation. Anyone who’s been down this path, whether they experience success or failure, knows that simply making the leap at all is a success all by itself. I spent a good amount of time simply sharing with him why I made similar changes years ago and some of the obstacles that we’ve all overcome in taking command our own lives. However, one of the biggest points of our conversation, was one that I have not really paid close attention to until now, and that’s how he perceives these changes.
As he builds a new life in a space of affirmation, it’s not a new idea to find himself feeling as if he’s the only one going through it. This is that place where no one in his immediate circle of influence understands any of the issues that he is currently going through. It is extremely difficult for them to relate to how steep his learning curve actually is, or may become. Dialogue is often found amidst the gaze of confusion and misunderstanding: his newfound abstinence from “the scene”, his steadfast commitment to this new lifestyle. The confidence with which he is able to say “NO” to the distractions that detract him from his vision is quite perplexing to those who haven’t embarked on this journey in their lives. Let’s not forget, however, the utter mindfuck this can this be initially is extremely difficult for people of his old circle to relate to, as these are indeed the problems of his own creation. After all, he chose to elevate himself to a higher playing field.
This is when his sphere of influence will begin to change. He will come to the realization that people and relationships have their season. He will have to take it upon himself to spend more time in the company of those who have also spent time in that space in an effort to ultimately find themselves a better version of who they used to be. Here is the cool part. As his circle gets smaller it also becomes more impactful. He will quickly realize that he is not the first, and certainly not the only one to make these moves. He is not the only one intrigued by separating himself from the herd. He is not alone in the endeavor to simply find out if he’s good enough, if his ideas have merit, if he has what it takes to follow through on the promises he has made to himself and the universe, plain and simple.
As that circle begins to change, so does the foundation of his conversation. Dialogue now leans towards a direction in which opportunities, not obstacles, are seen. His tolerance for bullshit decreases exponentially. His ability to empathize with other’s excuses almost disappears. Ultimately he will understand that he indeed is in control of the emotions exuded in reaction to circumstances that he cannot control. He has become the captain of his universe, the master of his soul. And the only ones who understand this, the only ones who speak the same language, are the ones playing the same game.
Welcome to the world of enlightenment and the pursuit of self-actualization. He is now one of the few, but there are many of us. Forever seeking wise counsel and stay the course. The alterations to his life are not to be seen from a frame of reference of what has been lost or given up. Quite the contrary actually, the engagement of this new chapter in life is fueled by what he stands to gain, and the abundance that he is now open to receive. This is why we must always always level up and Raise Our Standard.
- Mycal Anders, MS, CSCS